Relationship Problems & Resolving them

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems

Every Relationship has issues

Relationships help us live some of our most beautiful memories and at the same time, we often end up taking them for granted. As the saying goes, it takes losing something to realize its worth and importance. This is the unfortunate reality for many people living through fruitless relationships and most of them calling it an end resulting in unpleasant experiences.

In that context, being aware of problems that pop-up in a relationship and knowing how to tackle them could be a great value-add. It helps to remember that problems in a relationship are as common as pests in a crop. The problems in your relationship could be unique to your own situation but broadly, most problems fall into these categories:

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems

Communication:

There is always that initial excitement and eventual boredom in conversations. It helps to keep up the spark of exploration and sharing interesting pursuits with each other. One also generally assumes that they know the other person but we are always evolving in our thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Hence, it is important to keep listening.

 

Trust:

Do you trust your partner’s opinions? Are you confident about their discernment when it comes to making big decisions? Also, are you confident about their ability to care for you in your vulnerable moments? Are you comfortable with them hanging out with their friends? Insecurity is a big deal-breaker and a vicious cycle to put up with. Instead, share your feelings with your partner and gain their assurance to feel light.

 

Jealousy:

Jealousy about one’s partner making better progress or getting more attention is not helpful. They are your better half and you have a definite part in their accomplishments. So, it makes sense to celebrate each other’s wins instead of comparing yourself with them.

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems

Incompatibility:

It is better to figure out incompatibilities in the courting phase and walk your own paths instead of living with frustrations. If it’s too late for that, compromises may be made on all things barring core values by either party.

 

Sex drive

The excitement of the first few years wears off and it starts feeling like a chore and that’s exactly when you need to reignite it by trying different things and going to new places. Achieving things together also sparks the winning feeling and thus better sex.

 

Money:

It is important to realize that earning more often doesn’t solve the problem. Being smart about using what you have and creating small new ways of improving your cash-flows keeps both of you creative and happy. A comparison is better kept at bay.

 

Time

Yes. We live in a time poor world. We are more occupied than ever. Just when you feel that you don’t have any time for your partner is the exact moment when you should take out an hour or two for regular ice-cream dates or for indulging in hobbies together.

 

Individual space:

Spending time away from each other is as important as spending time together. It contributes for new experiences and growth better suited to individual tastes.

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Leading Psychologist on Relationship Problems