Children who are bullies often grow up to be adults who are bullies. Unfortunately, spouses who are bullies make marriage very difficult and the other spouse suffers from emotional and psychological scars.
Firstly, Bullies come in all ages and sizes. Thus, if your neighbour, boss or colleague at work is a bully, then you can learn to avoid them. But, if your spouse is bully your marriage can have serious consequences.
Many times, people have a problem in recognizing if their spouse is a bully, they assume that the spouse is “different”. Hence, It is important to understand what is bullying? Bullying is an unacceptable behavior among children or adults. Thus, Bullying is the use of force, coercion, threats, intimidation or aggressive behavior to dominate or subjugate others.
The following seven points are signals that your spouse is a bully.
If you observe these behaviors in your spouse, it is an opportune moment to meet with an experienced marriage counselor:
Name Calling:
Firstly, not using terms of endearment, but abuses, such “bitch”, “asshole”, “bastard” etc
Taunting:
Also, Provoking or challenging you with verbal assaults
Verbal or Physical Aggression:
Besides verbally assaulting you, a bully spouse may physically or sexually abuse you
Controlling Behavior:
Controls whom you meet, what you wear, how you behave
Put-Downs in front of Others:
Scolds you or comments on you, and belittles you in front of others
Disrespectful of you in front of others or in private:
Marriage is a partnership of two equals, if one spouse is disrespectful of the other, it is an indication of bullying
Using sex as a tool of control:
Spouses tend to use sex as tool to provide or withhold favours
Thus, If you find that the stress of dealing with a “bully” spouse is taking a toll on your mental wellness, it is an excellent opportunity to meet with an experienced psychologist.
“You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as a professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need” – Dr. Prerna Kohli.
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
